Earth and Stars

Roast dinner: £10.95
Avg drinks prices: Draught cider £3.90; orange juice £1.95

The Earth and Stars always caught my eye because of the awesome notice boards on the walls outside. Cutesy anecdotes from the point of view of the bored board itself, they're small things that always made me chuckle. It's obviously advertising that works (on some) as when I was at a loose end one Sunday, I decided I was going to give it a go.

It's not the cheapest of pubs - it certainly pays for its excellent location (the pub is on a corner just off Queen's Road; close to the station and The North Laine). The beers are slightly pricier than average and the food is priced to reflect the central area.  However, on entering I found it to be choc-full of people who evidently appreciate what it has to offer.  All types of people, too - couples; groups of young adults; older people - they're all here.  I think it has something to do with the staff - patient, friendly, unassuming - and the general atmosphere of the place.  In the winter, it has a cosy feel to it as it's quite small, but in the spring and summer months the place is bright and airy.  The artwork on the walls is unique and the decor isn't too flashy.  There's plenty to read adorning the walls and even the chalkboards have an attitude.

The choice is quite limited - the standard beef, chicken or lamb - with a veggie option I didn't catch (sorry).  Just the one veggie option, though, which I thought was a bit mean, but hey - it's a small place.  I opted for beef, my friend Chris for the chicken.  There's a myth that The Earth and Stars is an organic pub, but that's not been the case for a while.  I was disappointed, as I love organic beef, plus for nigh on £11 I expected something special.  However, it was still local and you can't argue with that.  There were some absolutely awesome aromas coming from the kitchen - I was quite excited from the off, despite the meal and drink costing me a whopping £16.  I watched as plate after plate came out of the kitchen piled high with goodies, and when mine came (after only a fifteen minue wait), I wasn't disappointed.  

It was a mountain.  An actual food mountain.  Yes, it costs £11, but you get a lot for that money.  Potatoes nudged for space alongside carrots, cabbage, parsnips and swede; gravy threatened to spill off the edge at the slightest nudge of the table.  The yorkie sat tentatively on top, as if it knew it was about to fall.  The beef was completely hidden at the base of the plate.  However, I found this appealing - it was like an adventure to find the prize amongst the melee.

The spuds were lovely - a little dry, perhaps, but the ample amount of gravy made up for that, and at least you get more than two.  The parsnips were proper parsnips (no parsnip crisps here - hurrah!), roasted to perfection - burned at the edges and soft in the centre. However, they juxtaposed the carrots, which in turn were actually quite boring and would have benefited from a little more seasoning.  The cabbage was slightly salty and could have done with a sprinkle of cinnamon, or apple - the gravy provides enough salt in itself and I didn't need any more.  After a while I found it to be too thirst-inducing to eat and so after a couple of mouthfuls I left it.  But the beef.

Oh, the beef.

Great big wads of roughly-carved, pink-in-the-centre beef.

It melted on the tongue, even if it was slightly fatty.  Crisp at the edges and smooth in the centre, it complemented the rest of the food perfectly, especially the homemade yorkie (which itself was not at all small - more monstrous!).  The chicken, however, was not so good.  Chris looked insanely jealous of my beef, and in a turnaround from my experience at The Farm Tavern, it seemed I had chosen the best roast on offer.  He summed it up in one sentence thus: "this chicken is all about the skin. The meat - not so good."  He proclaimed it to be rather dry - like the potatoes - and that he was lucky they didn't scrimp on the gravy.  A real sad twist to the story, because had the chicken been good, this place would have definitely scored higher.

In the end, I was beaten by the mountain - it was far too huge for me to finish.  Definitely one for the big eaters.  I was disappointed - I have a frugal mind and I'm all about eating what you've paid for - especially when it costs as pretty a penny as this one did.  I just couldn't, though, so I pushed my plate away and tried not to think of starving children in Africa.  I can't help but recommend this one idea - maybe next time, charge a little less and put a little less on the plate.

6/10

46 Windsor Street, Brighton BN1 1RJ
Tel: 01273 722879
Credit/debit cards accepted (over £10)
Booking recommended
http://www.drinkinbrighton.co.uk/earth-and-stars

The Alibi

Roast Dinner: £8.95
Avg drinks prices: Bottle Carlsberg £1.25; pint lager £3.05; bottled cider £3.25; soft drinks £1.65
Desserts: Approx £3.50

When I moved to Hove I didn't hold out much hope for the bars and pubs within a few minutes' walk of my front door.  For the most part they look like beer palaces - the type frequented by old lushes with veiny noses who sit outside the doors smoking Woodbines and smelling of wee or cocky chavs wearing battered Reebok Classics and trackie bottoms.   Not that I'm a snob.

However, since then I have been pleasantly surprised by both The Ginger Pig and The Foragers, and so, one post-flu, rainy, cold afternoon, the boyfriend and I decided to take the path of least resistance and head to the localest of our locals - The Alibi.  Resplendent on the corner of Victoria Terrace with a great view of the local Texaco garage and the run-down King Alfred's centre, from the outside it doesn't look much.  However, a week or so earlier I'd spent a lovely snowy afternoon in there and sampled their excellent chips n' cheese, hospitality and selection of board games, so in a time of laziness and boredom it was the natural choice.  Plus, at a whole £2 cheaper than the cheapest meat options in the other Hove establishments, the price also appealed.  It's rare to find a roast for less than a tenner nowadays.

The Alibi is a surprise to behold - with its open fire, stack of old-school games (Guess Who, anyone?), huge outdoor space and comfy sofas, its exterior is deceiving.  The clientele, though slightly chavtastic, are friendly, sociable and fun and the bar staff cannot do enough for you.  They stock a wide range of lagers including cherry beer and Staropramen on tap and whilst their ales aren't up to much, you are still spoilt for choice.  Best of all, if you're a lager fan you can pick up a bottle of Carlsberg for just £1.25 - student prices at their best.  Sometimes it's worth the trek out of Brighton.  They also do a free chilli night every Monday and have a 'build your own burger' menu, boasting a wide range of toppings and flavours, in addition to a highly appealing 'pie of the day' and sausages and mash served in a giant Yorkie.  Ace.

However, we decided to stick with the Sunday tradition and plumped for the roast.  I went for lamb, the boyfriend went for the pork, and expecting perhaps a little less than usual, we waited for our food to arrive.  When it did, we were not disappointed - what sat before us was good, old-fashioned, Nanna's-house-at-the-weekend fare - plump slices of meat, piles of boiled carrots, crispy spuds and a nice, puffed-up Yorkie.  Nothing artistic or gourmet, but just the ticket when you've just got over the 'flu and are feeling a little fragile.

The meat wasn't outstanding, but it wasn't boil-in-the-bag either - though it could have been a little more tender, it wasn't fatty or leathery.  The boyfriend's pork was simple and salty, though the crackling was a little rubbery and could have benefited from a little longer in the oven.  The gravy was proper, meaty gravy complete with a subtle flavour of rosemary and thyme, which complemented the potatoes perfectly. 

Speaking of the potatoes, these were wonderfully crisp and obviously basted in dripping - chewy in the middle and browned at the edges, almost deep-fried in appearance but with a beefy flavour, if a little dry in the middle (though the gravy helped assuage this).  They sat alongside crisp, al dente broccoli (just the way I like it), carrots that still had their bite and a good pile of peas - an unusual addition, but I was willing to give it a go.  However, here was where I was let down - the chef, in his infinite wisdom, had decided to mix the peas with a generous dollop of mint sauce, and in my eyes, mint sauce could well have been invented by the devil himself.  I couldn't bring myself to swallow them down, which was disappointing as I really had got a taste for peas over the course of the meal. 

The Yorkies were large and puffy, but evidently not home-made.  They could have been a lot worse - The Mesmerist's, for example, were small and unimpressive - at least these were of a decent size.  There was a distinctly supermarket-y taste about them, though and it really did let the plate down. 

To look at and to eat, this really is good, old fashioned, no-nonsense food.  The Alibi doesn't try to dress up its food or add impressive flavour combinations, but what it does do is cook the ingredients it does have to perfection.  The meat may not be locally sourced and the veg may be plain, but there's nothing mushy, burned or overcooked about it - certainly better than many could do themselves. 

What makes The Alibi worth the visit isn't really the food, though - it's the atmosphere.  It's rare in Brighton to find a real, old-man pub that isn't full of lushes or 'locals', which serves edible fare and has staff willing to give you the time of day.  The Alibi manages to maintain a friendly, local atmosphere without making you feel outcast, and I'd definitely recommend it for a swift afternoon stop-off.

6/10

22 Victoria Terrace, Hove BN3 2WB
Tel: 01273 733983
Credit/debit cards accepted

The Dorset

Roast Dinner: £8.95
Avg drinks prices: Bottle cider £3.85; pint lager £3.70; soft drinks £1.90
All desserts: £4.95

Arriving at The Dorset on a warm, sunny afternoon, we were immediately welcomed by the change in atmosphere in the place.  Despite the place being taken over by new management in recent months, I had been prepared to feel as I had always felt when attending drinks at The Dorset - a little uncomfortable; the feeling of eyes looking down noses burning into me and a general air of disrespect.  However, I was pleasantly surprised - no longer is this a place for posers and wannabes - no sirree, The Dorset has had a makeover (of sorts), and what a crowd-pleaser it seems to have become.  The air was warm and welcoming, the staff smiling and genuine and the menu looked absolutely delicious.  Having been shown to our table, the staff couldn't do enough - drinks were brought promptly, cold and iced; our choices were requested after a suitable wait and the dining area itself was bright, cheerful and had a nice air of chatter within it.

Now, The Dorset has always been renowned for its food - particularly its Moules - so I was harbouring high hopes for this place.  Following the London-Brighton bike ride, this was a choice of a friend as we'd happily agreed to sample the delights with him in celebration of his wheeled victory.  The menu was straight up - three meats and a veggie option with all the added extras - 'potatoes, yorkshire and seasonal vegetables.'  Exciting.  Once again I opted for a beef, same as my friend Ray; Dan, my partner for pork belly with crackling.  I was absolutely starving, and was definitely looking forward to my roast - despite the sun and the heat, it was sorely needed after a heavy Saturday evening.  So we sat back with our cold Westons Organics and we waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.


And some more...  Until 40 minutes had passed and we had to enquire as to the whereabouts of our food before poor Ray vanished into nothingness.  The waiter mumbled an excuse, then disappeared.  A further five minutes passed before we asked again; five minutes after that the roasts finally arrived.  Had it been any other Sunday, a 50-minute wait may not have been a problem, but some days, especially one where a good friend has cycled 54 miles, you need to get food quickly.  Granted, they were full, but we were literally the last to get served in the place.  Even after those who'd sat down long after we'd arrived.


Grrr.


Anyway.  Back to the roast - enough moaning.  Strange presentation they have at The Dorset - meat and potatoes and a nicely roasted shallot on the plate, with a cabbage medley on an accompanying side plate.  I thought this a little strange - such a waste of crockery - but as Ray has kindly put it - "saves me the work of pushing them to one side - I prefer the meat and potatoes."  Fair point, well made.  Only problem was - I am the opposite of Ray.  I love my veg, and was sorely disappointed to see that my 'seasonal' selection only counted two types of cabbage, both of which, though crispy and well-cooked, lacked in any flavour or real oomph.

However, saying that, the potatoes were exquisite.  Lovely and smooth on the inside, crispy and rough on the outside; slightly salted and peppered and contrasting wonderfully with the copious amounts of gravy (a very good thing indeed).  Proper meat gravy, too - thick and dark with a great taste to it.  The shallot was crisp and tender and the portion size, though aesthetically on the small side, was more than enough to fill a hungry cyclist.

The meat, on the other hand, was varied.  I like my beef pink in the centre, but when mine arrived it was clear I'd got the edge of the joint.  Thick, rubbery and grey, it was a nightmare to cut into and a challenge to eat.  However, not a lot of fat and great seasoning made the challenge easier to stomach - it was by no means horrible; just tough.  Ray had a different story - his beef was pink, juicy and fell off his fork as it was so tender.  I had to settle for simply gawping at his fork every time he lifted a piece to his mouth, lamenting that I'd taken the first one to arrive.  Damn.

Dan was just as thrilled with his pork - declaring it "the best piece of pork I've had so far."  According to his experienced word, the crackling was just the right texture - crunchy and crispy, nicely salted; the meat itself was lean and tender and there was a distinct lack of fat running through the actual belly.  Finished in minutes, he'd wanted more.

The great thing about The Dorset is that the gravies differ with the meats.  So many places simply do a stock gravy that it's nice to see a varied choice - a gravy can really make a meal and so to concoct one that complements the food is a real touch.  Dan's pork gravy was slightly cider-sweet, whilst mine was rich and heavy.  Both fantastic.

I really wish I could say more about The Dorset, but the distinct lack of colour and variety on my plate means that in a few short paragraphs, I've pretty much covered it all.  To summarise - what is on there is wonderful (if you're lucky and get a good cut of meat), but there just isn't enough variety - making the whole experience less than worth the 50-minute wait.  To improve?  A few more vegetables and some adventure wouldn't go amiss...

6/10

28 North Road, Brighton, BN1 1YB
Tel: 01273 605423

Credit and debit cards accepted
www.thedorset.co.uk

The Gallery Bistro

Roast Dinner: £9.95 - £10.95
Avg drinks prices: Bottle cider £4.10; bottle lager £3.95; soft drinks £1.80
Desserts: £3.95 - £4.95

The Gallery is a pretty little place.  Formerly a clothes shop, it resides in a cool part of Church Road - just down from the bustle of George Street, a short walk from the sea and just across from the Town Hall.  Resplendent in multi-coloured leather, a verbal description of the decor doesn't really do it justice.  Bright, clean lines and an open-plan interior make this a welcome and refreshing change from the usual Sunday roast venue; the sun shines through the large windows and the high ceilings make everything echo in a slightly school-hall way, though this is not a bad thing - the chatter and the sound of cutlery on plates is reassuring.  Wi-Fi enabled and pet friendly, The Gallery should be bursting at the seams with patrons.  However, on our visit - a sunny, bright Sunday; early lunchtime - it was eerily quiet.  Bar another couple sitting to eat a late breakfast and an older lady with a laptop and a dog, we were the only people indoors.  Granted, the small outdoor terrace that spilled onto Church Street did fill up with early-afternoon coffee drinkers as the hour rolled on, which made me pleased for the manager of the place.  Why?  Because The Gallery is good.  It deserves the business.  A compact, clear menu boasting locally sourced, fresh produce is mouth-watering.  An evening offer of a 3-course set menu for £15 promises delights for the local gastronome and at a bargain price.  The decor is beautiful and they even have a jazz band three nights a week.  However, far be it from me to attempt to critique the place further - I'm here to focus on the roast.

My friend and I plumped for the beef; my partner the pork belly.  The menu simply says 'roast dinner with all the trimmings'; so I assume that the selection changes.  The waitress seemed friendly enough, if a little shy as she asked me how I wanted my beef cooked.  This is a first for me - usually I simply shout 'beef!' from a hungover state in the corner, and 30 minutes later it arrives.  Not this time - I found great pleasure in knowing my beef was going to arrive medium-rare, just how I like it.  We grabbed three Savanna ciders - as this is a bistro, don't expect ales or down-to-earth lagers - which came duly served with lemon and a glass with ice.   It was a welcome change again from a pint of Stowford, and I appreciated the light drink as we chilled at the table, the sun shining through the window behind us. 

The food rocked up twenty-five minutes later - an admirable amount of time to wait.  Not too long, but long enough to know that you're not being given food shovelled from a pre-cooked vat of slop sitting there since the early morning.  However, when it was placed in front of me I was distressed - nay, distraught - nay, destroyed - to see that my dinner - my roast beef dinner - was severely lacking in Yorkshire pudding.  What fresh hell was this?!  On questioning the waitress, I was told that The Gallery do not serve Yorkies.  (This needs to be changed, as I feel it clouded my entire view of the food from thereon in.)  Begrudgingly, I poured on my gravy and duly accepted that this Sunday was going to be Yorkie-less.  Gutting.  However, my partner's pork was crispy and nicely browned, glistening with sea-salt and smelling delicious.  My beef - more of a steak than a cut of a roast - was succulent; nicely browned on the outside and moist and pink in the centre - a perfect medium-rare cut.  My friend's steak was the same, which led me to believe that this was the work of an accomplished chef, not just some guy in the kitchen who got lucky.  However, I did feel like I was tucking into a strange steak dinner rather than a roast; no bad thing as I love steak, but the whole 'roast' feel just wasn't there. 

The veggies were simple but perfectly cooked - broccoli, carrots and roasties with a serving of green beans for good measure.  Simple, honest veggies that had evidently come from someone's allotment.  They were crunchy and hot, better than mum makes, but there was no artistry involved.  In previous pubs I've been party to honey-roast carrots; spiced cabbage; buttered peas - I suppose I've been spoiled.  It wasn't at all bad; just a little plain for my liking.  Simple.  Clean.  But not a gastronomic adventure.  I so wanted my food to blow me away - the menu itself made me want to abandon the roast altogether and plump for one of their many delicious combinations - but I was left feeling a little disappointed.  The chef could benefit from a little after-hours experimenting with different flavours and combinations of veg to really make the roast pop, especially as they have to contend with a lack of Yorkshire.

We didn't stay for dessert, but what we did see on the menu did seem reasonably priced and sounded delicious - from creme brulee to chocolate brownie, it was all simple, hearty, sugary goodness. 

It's hard for me to decide where to place The Gallery on the ratings board.  On the one hand, it's a beautiful place - the decor is second to none - and the location is very good.  The food is well-cooked and not at all soggy or sloppy.  From the limited selection I saw being rolled out from the main menu, the food seemed bright, burting with colour and flavours and arty on the plate - however, as a roast joint?  I'm not so sure.  As I said earlier, it felt more like a steak dinner, which would have been fine if that was what I'd ordered.  The whole plate needed more adventure, experimentation and ambition.  And Yorkies!  Sacrilege, that's what it is...  I'm not sure roasts are their forte.

I will be going back to The Gallery, for sure, but I'm going to take advantage of their excellent set menu and some light jazz.  I think that you should, too - it really does have a great atmosphere.  I think that is where this little bistro's talent will really lie, and I fully expect to have a great time.

6/10

115 Church Road, Hove BN3 2AF
Tel: 01273 777488
10% service charged added for parties of 4 or more; booking recommended for large parties
Credit/debit cards accepted
http://www.gallerybistrohove.co.uk/