The Temple Bar

Roast dinner: £8.50
Mixed roast special: £10.95
Avg drinks prices: Bottled cider £3.90; pint lager £3.75; half pint pepsi £1.60

Ah, what a wonderful day for a roast... The sun is shining, the sky is clear and blue (and thanks to grounded planes, all that fly in it are avian) and just down the road a good few thousand people are sweating their bollocks off thirteen miles into a marathon. What better way to celebrate Brighton's first long-distance Roman throwback than with a cold beer, a pile of meat and veg and a smug grin?

We arrived at Temple Bar with high expectations - reports had been good. Formerly the slightly-pretentious and over-expensive Star and Sailor, The Temple Bar had been rechristened and (hopefully) had managed to shake off those Brighton fashionista wannabes and upper-middle-class knobends so well known down the Hove Actually end of Western Road. It was fairly early and the front windows, floor-to-ceiling, had been flung open allowing the sunlight and accompanying heat to flow into the pub. The new, green paint job given by the new landlord accentuated the vintage cuteness of the place - kitschy prints jostle for space on the walls next to newspaper cuttings, creepy pencil drawings and beer posters and the dark wood of the central, in-the-round style bar made it seem grandiose and regal. Things were looking very good indeed.

Not knowing what to opt for in the drinks department, I asked the barmaid's advice on pear cider. She recommended the bottled - I forget it's name, but it was a bloody good call - sweet and silky, almost like a retro pear pop. Perfect for an early lunchtime treat. We then sat down to peruse the menu, and damn, what a menu - chicken, lamb, beef and pork roasts all on the cards, in addition to the truly unique 'mixed roast' - think a carvery, but without the chavs and OAPs. They also do a pretty sweet selection of other dishes including a veggie roast and a salmon dish, cous cous and sandwiches. However, this is a blog about roasts, so we shan't concentrate on these other delights (but hey, I recommend checking it out midweek for some gastronomic heaven, if the look of the smoked salmon dish the guy behind me had was anything to go by).

Initially we were somewhat upset at the lack of Yorkshire puds on the chicken and pork roasts. Sacrilege! Instead, these are served with a sausage meat stuffing. However, undeterred we made our order - a chicken, a lamb, a beef and two mixed roast specials. This was looking exciting.

A three-minute wait later, the first of the roasts arrive. Amazing! Sadly, it wasn't to be - they swiftly returned and removed the plates from beneath my companions' slightly salivating mouths with an apology and a deft hand. Cruelty. We'd glimpsed what was to come, and it sure looked good. A large - nay, HUGE - pile of perfectly cooked meat; pinkish beef, supple lamb, crispy crackling and plump juicy chicken breast all sat atop a mere mountain of boiled, stewed and roasted veg. No cheap get-outs there, either - on one plate alone, we counted (take a deep breath): broccoli, cauliflower, two types of cabbage, roasted parsnips, carrots, butternut squash, celeriac, swede and the most perfect roasties you've ever seen. All topped off with a puffed-up Yorkie crown. Thus, we sat back, bottom lips firmly pushed out, and waited for our real roasts to arrive.

We were not disappointed. The plates were massive. Ginormous. Epic. Well, almost completely undisappointed. They did manage to bring me a lamb dinner instead of a beef, and I had to wait an agonising twelve minutes as my companions tucked in before I finally received my beef delight; however, I later decided that twelve minutes and a fresh new plate was preferable to a lightning-quick changeover and old food. It was worth the wait. The beef fell apart in my mouth; the roasties were crunchy, slightly charred and soft in the centre. The broccoli was bright and firm; the cabbage slightly sweetened and spiced. The parsnips were juicy and a delight to eat. The whole thing was a pleasure to behold, and a pleasure to eat.

My companions' views of the mixed roast were similar. Well, they did make noises that I'd usually expect to hear in an upmarket porno, so I think it was good news. They groaned and 'mmmm'-ed and 'ahhhh'-ed their way through what was quite frankly the Everest of meat piles, and seemed to love every minute. However, towards the end, the groans seemed to err on the side of discomfort and queasiness as opposed to sexual delight, such was the challenge of polishing off everything on the plate. My beef roast alone had long since beaten me, and I'm not one to easily admit defeat when it comes to food. In fact, if I had only one criticism of this place, it's that they simply serve far too much. We really had no choice but to spend the rest of the afternoon sitting on a bench in the sun, drinking more pear cider, doing The Observer crossword, chewing the proverbial and watching the world (and the exhausted marathon runners) go by. What an epic Sunday.

To conclude? A truly outstanding example of roast mastery, and what better way to begin this blog? The Temple Bar will truly be a hard act to follow.

9.5/10
The Temple Bar, 121 Western Road, Brighton BN1 2AD
Tel: 01273 721 501
Bookings accepted (and recommended); credit cards accepted